If You Give a Mouse an AK-47
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If You Give a Mouse an AK-47
The tragic arc of Farfour, the Mickey Mouse-looking, Jew-hating star of Hamas’ infamous children's television show
Who is Farfour? Farfour, for starters, is an icon. A legend. A celebrity. Even a Sheikh, according to Reddit... Farfour is the OG co-host of Tomorrow’s Pioneers, a children’s television show broadcasted by Al-Aqsa TV, a television channel which is run by Hamas. Though short-lived, Farfour’s performance was captivating enough to garner worldwide recognition in 2007, and, fifteen years later, a cult following (see Farfourism on Reddit – yes, really).
Even Jon Stewart jumped on the bandwagon that year, saying the character “looks like Mickey Mouse…but sounds like Walt Disney”. And yeah, Disney even looked into suing Hamas over the likeliness of the child-terrorist to the iconic beloved mouse. A balagan all around in the name of Farfour.
It’s difficult to find complete episodes of Tomorrow’s Pioneers. Fortunately, audiences are granted at least some mercy with snippets and plotlines from each one scattered in the depths of the internet.
For instance, Farfour’s iconic line, “We will win Bush! We will win Sharon! We will win Olmert! We will win Condoleezza!” almost overshadows the rest of the first episode, which is nowhere to be found. Because context doesn’t matter. Anti-Western propaganda does.
In excerpts from the third episode, “Farfour and the AK-47,” we learn that Farfour is not just an embodiment of wisdom, he is also an incredibly skilled choreographer and dancer. In this segment, the audience is invited to call into the show for a chance to sing on Tomorrow’s Pioneers! And it is extremely entertaining to watch Farfour dance and clap along to lyrics like, “It is the time of death…we will fight a war…oh Jerusalem we are coming,” but it is his other moves that really steal the show. Having never heard these songs before, Farfour improvises not one, but two interpretive dances to them.
Farfour breaks out to “Oh, oh, the answer [to Israel/Palestine] is an AK-47” by pretending to hurl grenades and throwing some finger guns at the audience for maximum engagement. Bravo!
Unfortunately, things start to go downhill for Farfour in later episodes when he is caught cheating on his final exams. Seated in a room full of school-aged (human) children, Farfour stands out like a sore thumb. And despite his brilliant and creative mind, his not-so-sneaky attempt to utilize a cheat sheet lands him in a bit of a predicament.
Farfour’s teacher sternly reprimands him, yelling while aggressively grabbing his giant mouse ear. Waiting for Farfour at home is a disappointed Uncle Hazim, who demands to know why he cheated on his exam. Farfour explains that he didn’t want to cheat, “It was against my will…because when the Jews destroyed my home I couldn’t find my notebooks”. Lucky for Farfour, Saraa (the show’s other co-host) reminds him that even though “the Jews are wicked”, it is still wrong to cheat on your exams. Remember kids, you have a moral duty to annihilate the Jews, but the line drawn at cheating in school.
Our protagonist’s storyline begins to end with an important family meeting between Farfour and his (very human) grandpa. Here, Farfour learns that he is the heir to Tel Al-Rabi, a wonderful land covered in flowers, olives, and palm trees. It is important to note that Farfour was carefully selected to inherit Tel Al-Rabi, defeating his cousins - Nahoul the Bee and Assoud the Bunny (both of whom eventually co-host subsequent seasons of Tomorrow’s Pioneers) in a battle of succession.
Grandpa entrusts Farfour with documents to the land and a key to their home, bestowing upon him the duty to protect the land of Tel Al-Rabi – a great honor. Grandpa suddenly collapses, seemingly succumbing to his old age. However, Farfour later mentions that the Jews killed Grandpa. How though, we are not told.
Farfour, feeling this enormous loss, vows to liberate the land from “the filth of the criminal plundering Jews who killed [his] grandpa,” and the scene cuts to the (((Zionist))) interrogation of Farfour.
A terrified Farfour demands to know what the Zionists want from him. The plundering filthy Zionist interrogator requests the keys and documents that grandpa entrusted him to safeguard. Farfour responds that he will never relinquish his key and documents, for he will use them to liberate Jerusalem. I thought his home was in Tel Al-Rabi, but I digress. Perhaps consistency isn’t Farfour’s strong suit or, more likely, this is something beyond my comprehension… Does his family own multiple properties? Who knows.
Back to the interrogation... As expected, the filthy Zionist tries to bribe Farfour, who he clearly doesn’t know very well. Anyone with half a brain knows that Farfour would never take a bribe. ESPECIALLY not from the plundering Jews who “killed [his] grandpa and everybody”. The Jew continues to badger Farfour, promising lots of money, which is the last straw. Farfour assures the Zionist that he is not the kind of mouse who sells his land to terrorists, and screaming match ensues which concludes with the interrogator stabs Farfour to death.
[A minute of silence for Farfour.]
For what it’s worth, I don’t think Farfour is really dead. I believe he simply discarded his body and departed this life. He transcended the human/mouse experience. He continues to live on in all our hearts, minds, and souls — kind of like the Holy Ghost, only more divine. Risking his life couldn’t have been an easy decision for Farfour, but Farfour’s dignity is a lesson for all. Rest easy, Farfour. May your neshama make an aliyah.
Glory to the martyrs, and glory to Farfour.
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