Oy Ye

Is asking my boyfriend to get rid of shoes that remind me of an antisemite's tirade too much to ask for?

Arielle Noa Hannah Kaplan

Oct 25, 2022

Shema Arielle,

I am sure you have heard of Ye’s anti-Jewish rants by now. And the fact that Adidas, a company with Nazi history, took DAYS to cut ties with the artist formerly known as Kanye West. Now, my problem might seem small in comparison to the global crisis that is antisemitism, but alas: my boyfriend won’t get rid of his Yeezys.

“I paid for them,” he says. “Plus, I’m a Jew. I can wear them.” It’s bad enough that my beshert is a hypebeasty music producer that spends way too much money on hoards of sneakers, but he can’t throw away one pair?! He doesn’t really like talking about antisemitism or Jews, which I get. It’s stressful. But is asking my boyfriend to get rid of footwear that reminds me of an antisemite’s racist tirade too much to ask for?

Sincerely,

Oy Ye

Hey Bubbela,

There are two types of Jews: Those who can’t stop talking about Jews and antisemitism (me) and those who never talk about Jews and antisemitism (your boyfriend).

I literally only ever want to talk about Jews and Jew-hatred, especially when I’m stressed (and horny)! Your silly goose of a boyfriend’s weak justification for being a walking ad for antisemitic Kanye West is lame and hollow and dumb, slicha, aval lo slicha. I mean, he’s going out of his way to publicly support a Jew-hater? In this economy? Bubbela, his self-hatred is showing… and that is not cute. It’s a shanda fur die freaking goyim, is what it is. Dump him.

Jk.

Well, maybe JK. Give him an ultimatum: Either he dumps the Nazi sneakers or he gets dumped.

This method is tried-and-true by my saftah, who pulled this on my saba when he brought a monkey home. It terrorized my mom and her brothers and had diarrhea every day (jealous). At her wits end, saftah stood in the doorway of their brownstone with a packed suitcase in hand and said, “either the monkey goes or I go!” What I’m saying is, I’d rather be roommates with a monkey who has IBS than be in a relationship with someone who loves Kanye like Kanye loves Kanye.

Do you really want to date someone who values uggo shoes over his own people? I’m not so sure this backstabbing sellout is your bashert, Bubbela! He sounds like kind of a dick. Like a massive dick. Aye, there’s the rub — you’re dickmatized! But does he even have sex with you in front of the fireplace to honor your grandparents? Mhm. That’s what I thought. Your silence is deafening. But you deserve a Jewish Zionist who’s about that life. We all do. Especially me.

Anyway, good luck!

Love,

Arielle