Slut for Slicha
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Slut for Slicha
On the infamous "sorry" Yom Kippur text...
Shema Arielle,
It’s that time of year. The new year is upon us, and the countdown to Yom Kippur has commenced. I want to make myself look good here, but there’s no way to sugarcoat it. I screwed up.
My relationship went south a few weeks ago and at the time of the split, I denied any wrongdoing. I did not realize it, but with time I can admit the fault is on my end... Like, 99% of it.
Yom Kippur is approaching, and I feel like I must atone. With Hashem but also with my Ex. I don’t want to get back together with her and I want to be respectful of her space. But shouldn’t I fulfill my obligation of asking for forgiveness before our holiest of holy days?
I know that I sound like a cliche: the Jewish boyfriend who pops up right before Yom Kippur to wreak havoc. But isn’t this what it means to be a good Jew?
Sincerely,
Slut for Slichot
Forget Hallmark’s upcoming “Hanukkah on Rye” movie, give me a Yom Kippur romcom or give me death! I can assure you that apologizing to your ex-girlfriend is not a cliche. Actually, reflecting on your sins and validating her experience is way hot. But, I’m questioning your intentions. Your motive.
Are you remorseful for the sins of being a shitty boyfriend and gaslighting your ex? It doesn’t sound like it. I think you just want to be absolved of your sins to get signed and sealed in the Book of Life before the end of Yom Kippur. Selfish, selfish!
There’s a difference between apologizing and asking for forgiveness and you seem to be focused on the latter. A good apology involves owning up to your shit and expressing remorse for your actions. Only then can someone—your ex— let go of her anger and grant forgiveness to a slut for slichot.
Cutting corners won’t get you signed in the Book of Life, bubbela, but it will get you sealed in the Book of Death! I say you respect the poor girl’s space and wait a few more weeks to deliver the apology to end all apologies.
Was that too harsh? Did I make a mountain out of semantics? Maybe. Or maybe, it’s just Maybelline.
G’mar chatima tova!
Arielle